Tuesday, February 10, 2009

Stagnation


What stops me from going forward? Laziness? Procrastination? Or, maybe I am trapped... I suppose I could break free, but it would be at an enormous cost and probably not worth it! I just think it would be nice to be able to make plans and work on the execution without having to depend on other people (kids to grow up, mouths to be fed, husband to get over depression, employers to do the right thing) and all the little stuff... It seems that one becomes so entangled in everything, I know that I would not want to live without all the personal links I have - I just wish they didn't interfere so much with my space. Perhaps, if I took up exercise again, that might make me feel freer, at least it would be time legitimately away from everything. I am feeling enroached upon, crowded and unable to breathe - even the uniform I am obliged to wear at work bothers me...
I DO feel trapped - if laziness and procrastination are part of this or a consequence I am not sure.

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