Learning day to day...

It is not even half way yet and I miss him so much... Every day I face new challenges - today I had to clean the pool, first time ever - it worked! Ok, I had the help of my middle son. The kids are finding it difficult in the mornings, he isn't there to make their breakfast (and mine, too!). This has made me reflect on how difficult it must be to be divorced, widowed or a single mother. I have to feed the dogs, remember to put out the rubbish, lock the house at night, seemingly small things, but they loom so large to me, simply because there is no one else to do it - the buck stops here -   literally. The car is playing up, of course and the bank account is staring at me with hungry eyes, I know that if he came back, things wouldn't really change (except I wouldn't have to feed the dogs!!), it is just having to face it all - alone. Maybe it is the green eyed monster attacking again, that is a possibility. I do miss him, I need another adult to talk to, teenagers are fine, some of the time, but after a while, you run out of meaningful things to talk about. the empty bed also upsets me  - I find that his side of the bed is hardly ruffled, when usually he manages to untuck the bottom sheet as well as the rest! The kids miss him too, sidestepping around me when they sense I am stressed out! Oh well, tomorrow begins another week.