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Reflections

Orchid

Well, my favorite time of the year is here - maybe second favorite because I really like summer best :-). Spring is a real pretty time here in Brazil and full of promise, as it should be. We have elections this weekend, not very promising candidates, although they make their usual promises that they don't commit to. It is nature that is full of promise, the trees are sprouting new leaves, mango trees are in bloom and people are generally cheerful with thoughts of the long weekends coming up and the end of the school year, then there is Christmas and New Year to look forward to, not to mention Carnival!! There is always the hope that one can clear up the mess made of the year and start anew. I, for one, am hoping to solve some long term debt issues with the extra money that is always welcome at this time of year. I am also looking forward to making plans, dreaming on, endeavoring to lay the groundwork for future edification. The daylight saving time starts in a couple of weeks and that always is a booster - we lose an hour, but it seems that we gain so much more time in our days.

Hibiscus

Hello, again!

Well, we hoped to win, but, alas, it was not to be... It is curious how it seems as if the year is only beginning now!
I have higher hopes for the rest of the year, I hope to defeat debt in our lives, depression in this house, willing us to pick ourselves up and out of the rut of hopelessness to move forward with plans and life! It seems such an effort at times, but up and forward IS the only way!
There will be elections later on this year, which makes for boring campaign ads and revelation of sordid scandals. This year, both sons will be voting too - hopefully they will choose well.
I have gone back to cross stitching to bring some entertainment and beauty to my "spare" time (my escape time, actually). 

As usual, I have a yearning to go back to sailing more regularly, however, I don't quite see how that is going to happen, considering our present state of affairs ( club fees in arrears, no money to travel down there and spend the weekend). 
I must learn to be content with my lot and face up to the natural consequences of having been remiss with finances - but it is SO hard, sometimes it seems as if we work, work and work and there is no reward at the end of the day! I am tired of this state of affairs, I mean, wouldn't you??

João after the 7 km walk

Reflecting...

I suppose it is now time to make a reappearance! I have missed blogging and seeing what my bloggy friends are doing.The temperatures are quite a bit lower in Brazil now, so it is a little easier to sit at a computer without getting upset at the mosquitos that hide under my desk and worried that sitting on a cushioned chair in a damp swimsuit will ruin the fabric, or that sweat will damage the keyboard... It has been a very hot summer and although I like the heat, it has been very draining this year! This picture shows the temperature .... 42°C!!!
Autumn is coming for us  and it is a very nice season here, it tends to be drier and the temperatures are much more amenable!
This year I have a lot to look forward to, first of all, various family members will be coming out to Brazil to visit, my cousin and her family, then a month later, my uncle and his wife and maybe my sister will be able to make it from Portugal too! My eldest son will be taking his entrance exams to university too, which I am sure will be a great excitement!! I just hope he does his part.

I continue my quest to earn more money to tide us over and pay some of the loans off - oh, to be free of banks and credit cards!!! Also hoping that we can find a little more daily 'joie de vivre', kind of difficult when in the midst of the rat race. I really want to get back to sailing more often - at least we have had two weekends at the club and sailed! We didn't do too well because we lost our main sail fasteners during the storm that hit us on the first regatta, then we sailed on a friend´s boat the next day, which was great - the following weekend we had fixed the sail, but the outboard motor gave up on us halfway to the starting line, so we didn't get there in time to start... rather disappointing competition wise, but great sailing all the same.

Sailing is uphill sometimes!!

But we get beautiful views...

Captain, my captain!

Rambling on...

I haven't been here much recently - I am sure that Twitter, Facebook and Orkut have been taking up too much of my time! The heat here in Brazil, more specifically Rio de Janeiro, has been torrid! The newspapers announced this week that we were the second hottest place on the planet, we only lost to some remote place in Ghana, south of the Sahara!!! This alone makes you want to melt, and sitting at the computer is the last thing in mind, try holding a "warm" laptop on your lap, when the "thermal sensation" around you is 50ºC! As much as I appreciate the heat, this is getting to be a bit much....
We are now entering carnival in Rio, lots of excitement and revelry on the streets, but also, a lot o f peace and quiet for those, like us, who have decided to hole up at home - a five day holiday is always welcome!!
The eldest has gone off to his friend's beach house, north of Rio and the two youngest have just come home from a 20 day sojourn in the south of Brazil - I think enjoying the fact that they are home! On the 22nd, Monday week, they will all be going back to school, so the year begins in earnest, woohoo!

A new friend

This is a picture of a new friend - I have had her about a month now, she  is just about getting used to us! She is six years old (and a bit) and beautiful!! Her name is PRETA - that is black in Portuguese and her nickname is "Pe-pe" She still doesn't enjoy being squeezed, but will accept kisses on her adorabe snout, kind of! We love this breed and firmly believe that it is the owners' who make and break a dog - therefore we are delighted to see her settling in with an older Rottie and a younger Lab and her puppy. 4 dogs! what was I thinking??!!!!

Minus one, alas!

Well, c'est la vie, as they say in some parts - Candy managed to smother one of her pups during the night so the early morning saw some grave digging to my DH's disgust! It is a good thing dogs can't count, in fact I don't even think she noticed. We will have to keep a closer eye on her to avoid further 'accidents'! Here is a picture of her with the seven...

New arrivals

Well, they are here now - all eight of them!

I don't think Candy knew what was coming, however, they all seem to be thriving and she seems to be happy about them.

I guess I will have a busy forty five days ahead of me - cleaning out the kennel three times a day - I hope some of the teenage creatures around will come to my aid - wish me luck, my bloggy friends!

Odd things

I complained enough about August, that I felt guilty about posting in September I think! September, for me, is a lovely month, especially here in Brazil, as it is the beginning of spring. The weather begins to get nicer - clear blue skies, breezes and sunshine - it didn't work out exactly like that, though - we had some brilliantly summery days in the middle and I even dared put away the blanket, however I had to drag it out again last week. It is now October and everything is green and flowers galore - I enjoy watching the little monkeys gambol around on the branches in front of my office window, one of them has just had babies and it looks like a Notre Dame hunchback with two little ones almost soldered onto her back! even the tail seems to cling!! I didn't get to go sailing at all in September, much to my disappointment. We managed to sell the car and buy a (brand) new one and also settle up with the club, which means we can continue to go without the added embarassment of knowing that we owe a few monthly fees - it certainly does dampen one's spirits. I have also managed to start the process of renewing my visa and foreign ID card, so I am no longer at a danger of being deported to the UK! I now have concentrate my funds and efforts on renewing my driver's license and work permit. I hope I can get both done during this month of October. Our very pregnant Labrador is about to give birth any day now, I set up a lovely "nest" for her in the kennel, but she refuses to stay there, she insists on digging her own (in MY garden) and stubbornly laying there all night, the Rottweiler thinks that is fine, she can have a nest to herself in the dry - I suspect she has told Candy that "real" dogs do it in the wild, so she can have the kennel to herself! Candy, being the compliant feather head she is... It will be interesting to see what comes of this, as we have no idea who the father is - we have suspicions, but only wild guesses really.

Another week of August

Definitely not my favorite time of year! I have many things to be thankful for in August, but the month itself never pans out to be much good... For one thing, it goes on for ages - I mean, next Monday, it will still be August! This year, the weather has been bad also - it has rained so much that I am beginning to feel water-logged. Where are the beautiful blue skies and sunshine?? I do live in a part of the world that is particularly beautiful most of the time. The weather is getting me down, I begin to mope about feeling that nothing is ever going to be bright and promising any more. The bank account doesn't help either - another 7 days before I even see the odd bit of change... and then another 5 days before some more!
I didn't manage to go sailing this month and I don't think I will be allowed close to the boat for another three weeks, if then!
I want to get on with solving my bureaucratic problems too - am no closer than I was at the beginning of July - I badly need to buy another car too - the car I have is beginning to stop me from doing a whole lot of things. I have to think twice about going further than 15 kilometers in it.
I hope this last week of August is better...

Teen angst -cellphone bills

I really don´t know what possessed us to give post paid cell phones to our kids! We have royal fights over how much they spend - so we resorted back to prepaid, but that didn´t work because being so cash strapped, we never had enough to shell out for three cards at the same time. Well, for the second time round we had a serious talk with them and told them that we would go back to the post paid system but they would only have 30 minutes to work with, whatever exceeded that would come out of pocket money. Our big mistake was not following up that threat, I know, I know... be consistent. After some time we had a problem with our eldest who managed to spend more than his father on one single month - he had all the excuses, he had a friend who had had a motorcycle accident and needed help and cheering up, we were out of town and he had to call us (more expensive), he thought that he still had minutes left... then we had a problem with the youngest, she overspent herself incredibly with texting (and I thought she would never learn to read and write when she was in preschool - a few years earlier!), we talked to her and she promised NEVER to text again - not our imposition, though. Because of this, she was without a cell phone while we paid off the bills.Lately we decided to go ahead and change cell phone operator in order to cut costs - this new plan would give my husband and the three kids a 1000 minutes plus fixed phone for free and internet broad band access via fixed phone line for about a third of what we pay nowadays. Yesterday was the day that the migration was complete - also the day that we received three bills - my husband's, the eldest son's and the youngest's cell phone bills with the former operator... to our complete dismay and shock! Our baby girl´s bill (she is 14) was 15 times my husband's! yes - fifteen times - I read on internet that last year the average cell phone bill in the USA was about 78 USD, I asked around my friends at the office today, what kind of bills did their teenagers run up - the answer was between 30 and 50 USD... She managed to spend 831 USD in 30 days - she spent 22 or 23 hours on the phone! interstate fees - her friend lives two states away from us. I mean - what the .....??????

I am still shell-shocked - I have taken the phone away from her - I am threatening to take internet access too - my husband is still at the silent stage...

She said that she needed to talk to her friend (another girl, the same age ) because at least SHE understood her - her acquaintances here apparently do not - they rib her because of her taste in music and because she reacts badly to this - I questioned her on the necessity to be on the phone for over three hours - she said that if she had something better to do she wouldn´t do it, but

because I don't pay for guitar lessons she has nothing to do except spend time on the computer and on the phone - but WHY the phone and not skype or something like that?? Oh, she didn't

have that on her computer and her friend didn't either... besides her friend wasn´t always on the computer (her friend has to SHARE a computer). I reminded her that I am always asking her to help me round the house, but seemingly that doesn't count as something to DO!!

Oh, my poor sweet little baby - brat!

What would you do? Does anyone have any bright idea out there?

August

August is here. For me, this is the beginning of the second half of the year - maybe reminiscing when it used to be the beginning of a school year (almost). I know that July should mark the beginning, but it seems that there is so much to finish up in July and this year we even took a holiday in July...

Back to reality, back to work in earnest - last week didn´t really count - I just finished off things that were pending.

I hope that I am able to tackle some of the more serious issues awaiting me, lik

e renewing my visa, work permit , driving

license, legalizing and

selling my present car, buying a new(er) one and then thinking about Christmas - New Year. Gosh! Christmas is not far off... under five months now (the hairs on the back of my neck are beginning to rise...). I must find a way to earn more money and save more, maybe change the internet provider for a free one, change the cell phone provider (ooops, I need a new phone = more expense). I want to begin a count down for retirement, get back to embroidering, sewing and woodworking. More than all, I need to re-prioritize my daily schedule, find time for quiet time, exercise and one on one time with each of the three kids. I guess there are no miracles out there, just grace.

Thoughts in the rain

When you live in Brazil, as I have over the last 36 years (!), you just can't get used to rain anymore. Just look at it! So, here we are - sitting on the verandah at the club, which has been turned into a Lan House!!! Some play games, others write their blogs and some actually work! I know it is winter and rain is to be expected, but I hope the sun comes out tomorrow and we can get on with the serious business of finishing the boat and we can get some sailing in! I thought this was to be a sailing holiday and I have only been out in my kayak! According to the innumerous weather sites, there is a good chance that the rain will peter out tomorrow and the sun will make its tremulous appearance sometime on Tuesday... The problems of living in a sunny country.

Silver Wedding

Now that we are definitely into our holidays, some of the anxiety has rubbed off! The worries are still trying to creep up on me with teenage interventions - Sunday evening, our eldest (very macho 17 year old) called to ask whether we had authorized the youngest (our baby girl at a lanky 14) to go out by herself; I asked - what do you mean? yes, she said she was going to meet a friend at the mall...

He replied: Well, she just got into a car with four "men"...

a cold chill starts down by back and I look fearfully at the father, almost willing him to be struck deaf and I quickly hang up on my helpful son and call the recalcitrant daughter.

- What is going on? Weren't you going out with so and so???

- Yes, mum, I am - we are going to the mall right now (a suspicious silence in tthe background).

- Who are you with??

- I am with so and so's (a neighboring boy) mother and friends.

- (a little calmer) Where is so and so (the aforementioned girlfriend)?

- (a little pause) she is here...

- Ok, can I speak to her?

- oohh, mum please...

- you mean, she isn't there??!!!

- she has already gone with her boyfriend...

By this time, husband is glowering in the background and I am trying to decide whether to threaten daughter with permanent grounding, or even worse - making her go and stay with her grandmother (that'll larn her!). However, I opt for peace and a halfhearted sermon over the phone, impressing on her that if she makes me come back from my holidays, there will be h**l to pay and that she had better call me again when she is home - so I get a call at about 11 p.m. saying that she has just arrived. phew...

The middle son arrived safely at his destination but found out that he had forgotten one of his essential (also one the most expensive) medicines back home, so that meant we had to fork out almost another airfare to cover the cost of a new bottle to tide him over. This was after having to argue (over the phone) with an airport attendant who insisted that she had to have an authenticated copy of his birth certificate (a simple photocopy wasn't enough) in order to allow him to board the plane - he did, but I had to send an authenticated copy by express post to my sister's to guarantee he will be able to come back - another "convenient" expense!

So... we are still here...

And it is pouring with rain...

We had a great dinner last night to celebrate our twenty-fifth at a local restaurant and afterwards, DH bought me a lovely wedding band with white and yellow gold and a tiny diamond chip - very pretty, just can't show it because it will only be delivered next week - they didn't

have my ring size.

Holidays

I am racking my brains to find a way of guaranteeing my holiday by trying to ship the kids off to other parts of the country without breaking the bank - the middle one has his heart set on going to the south of Brazil to spend 10 days with my sister and his cousins, he has generously informed me that this can be considered his birthday present! The youngest is hankering after going to a friend's house in the south too (also involves a plane trip), the only problem is that we don't know this friend and her family because she is an "internet" acquaintance. Her older cousin is planning to go there too which may save her or not - this cousin also has never met the girl in person either... So my sister and I are going to try and call this girl's mother and establish some kind of connection! I love the web, but it sure has made things a little difficult - sigh. The eldest has contrived to stay home - I suspect because of the girlfriend - he is going to do extra classes at school but will have a lot of spare time on his hands. I just hope that he doesn't decide to invite her over while we are away...

Of course this all doesn't help my DH's natural reluctance and pessimism... Over the weekend I had the distinct feeling that our trip was going to be trashed - "we can't really afford this...", "Are you sure the kids will be OK?" "TWO plane tickets - oh no, there is no way we can do all this", "be realistic - how long do you really think we can be away for?" "two days??!!" "We have to paint the boat hull - do you think we can really afford the paint?" "There is no way you(!!!) are going to stand sleeping on the boat the way it is..." and on and on...

Where is all the spontaneity, romance and adventurous spirit??

Down in the dumps

Has anyone ever felt like they want to get off - right now!, and the train/bus won't stop? I do. I know it is too late for a lot of things I wanted to do, but there is a persistent feeling that if only I could stop, I could do other things. Things like: learn to put a zipper in properly; start an efficient exercise regime, do some gardening, de-flea my poor dogs (and the rest of the house/garden, I am told), study some more, blog more, be useful to myself and others, and the list is endless... I would like to study more physics (yes you heard that right!) to be able to help my sons with the subject at school, encourage my daugher over her "layabout" stage, help her through her uncertainties as young girl/woman and mainly incentivate her to keep her mind open and to make decisions that won't hamper her later. You see, I like to be free, I like to have a flexible timetable, do different things (sometimes quite different! LOL) and my present lifestyle is just cramping me. I know that I have it easier than many - I work a reduced schedule in a fixed job and then I can use my 'free' time to teach, translate, or whatever I want. I think the main issue is cash because I don't earn that much due to my job choices, so I can't afford to do the many things I want to. Even if I have the time I don't have the spare cash and all the rest of the time is used up working for a pittance to pay back the kind credit card companies and banks that have on occasion been useful to fund some creature comfort for myself or the family. I also have to think about my retirement and for that I have to become officially employed again (4 years without a register). Then I find out that my documents have expired... the joys of being an expat! Of course, that involves money and a lot of it. So I have to find a way of making a little extra to cover my document expenses in order to be properly employed again... My driver´s license is about to expire and my car documents are also slightly irregular - I have to pay this years road tax and have it inspected (this is a whole new problem - the car needs work done to it to pass the inspection). I think that all this affects my outlook on things, from my job to my down time! So, you might say, money is the answer! No, I don't think so - it is a bit like the plane crash - it is a combination of factors. That is why I feel like I want to get off!!!!!

Well, enough about that, I wanted to show a picture from the weekend (last). This is a picture of the beach in front of the club we (in) frequently spend our weekends at. It was a lovely weekend, weatherwise (except for Friday) and if it weren't for my husband's little black dog, it would have been perfect - we even sailed!!

Pondering...

I have been thinking these past few days about this space, if it is serving a purpose or not, why is it that I feel the urge to write, but when I get here, I don't think it is worth the effort... Yet, I spend enough time here, reading other people's posts, making comments that are almost another post! Sometimes, I feel that I have nothing very interesting or relevant to say-most of the time really. Is it a kind of selfish, vain pride that stops me from closing it down completely? Maybe the everyday 'run of the mill' problems are so incpacitating that I feel dry. One of the solutions might be to learn how to add/insert quirky links or other attractions. Quite possibly, the lack of audience is why I hold back on posting. I am not confident that others would be interested in what I have to say, so I deliberately sabotage my own musings.

Thoughts all over the place

Well, still pondering on the unfairness of DH taking a vacation and having to accept a 50% drop in the usual income on one hand and on the other, thankful that we still have enough credit standing to get a loan to cover the hole! It shouldn't be, but, c'est la vie, I suppose. I am in a mire hole at work too - in between translation projects and waiting for instructions on the next Golf championship. I wonder if they are finally going to formalize my contract... also a sticky issue... Too many unanswered questions flying around! All of them urgent and none very easy to be answered!

Sad

Just sad about the unfairness of things!